Mad at Dad

Most read article on Parenting.com is Mad at Dad.

"We love our husbands- so why are we so angry at them, so often?"

I am usually very angry with my husband at least 2-3 times a month where I try to imagine an escape plan. How do I get out of this marriage? I have never come up with a plan that I am comfortable with. We are stuck with each other. Kind of like being in prison- I heard that on a mom blog. We have these two beautiful kids and I just vowed that I would never do it alone, if I didn't have to. Being the child of divorce- in the 1970's- make an impression.

Now my husband is one of the "good ones". He is fairly attentive and I trust him...but- he is has no ability to be pro-active. Food is important to him, so the kids will never stave. Clean socks and underwear are important- so the kids will stay decently clothed. He has taken the kids to the Dr.- when I cannot. He has attended one parent teacher conference- when I could not make it. He has no ability to cultivate new relationships. He often says "No". He will not take the kids places all on his own. He puts his friends before me- maybe not before the kids- but before me.

He treats me like I am his mom.

The other day he told me that he "is the fix it- guy" and since I cannot "fix" things, I must do more of the daily chores and overall cleaning of the house. This is also a guy who told me that he didn't have clean socks and I responded, yes he did, I checked his drawer. He responded that they were not the "right" ones that he wanted to wear. Kind of sounds like a toddler.

I work full-time, I volunteer in my son's classroom- weekly. I coordinate the nanny schedule. I procure items for the preschool auction. I am tired and a drive a car that I don't particularly like because it is better for us to leave my car for the nanny. I do 98% of the shopping. I pay all the bills. I do the laundry- this one is my fault- he won't do laundry in a manner that I find acceptable- I have asked him to follow my guidelines and he refuses.

Like in the article- I do want to say that I do love my husband very much. We have been married a very long time and we are good friends. He has a more flexible work schedule than I do- so he is often home working on the house- doing projects- but not looking to see what could be picked-up or cleaned. I would like for him to walk around the house- look to see what could be done before starting a project. Men are kind-of like bears they like to be in their cave (shop, garage, office).

I am looking to get a dog.

New Years Resolutions 2009

Happy New Year.
I reviewed the resolutions that I posted for 2008 here. Not exactly what I remembered. I thought I had added learning to knit. Humm.

Resolutions this year are:
Career advancement: I mean to work very hard so that in 2010 I will be promoted.
Fitness: Increase personal fitness.
Stress reduction: Take time for myself, take time to react, think first. Be more patient.
Be mindful: Stay present and in the moment.
Kinder: Try to not be so harsh on oneself or on others close to you.