If you have your health- does it make everything else ok?

Good that you were not hurt (in that car crash).

Good that you have your health.

It isn't good. Some things are really rotten. It is important to realize that if one cannot meet ones commitments- then you are fired or deemed unreliable. I don't like to be deemed unreliable.

Time to go do the dinner thing.

Be real.

What to do when your spouse views education very differently than you do?

What to do when your spouse views education very differently than you do?

There is a "right" way to do school work. There is a "right" way to interview of a job. There is a "right" way to be polite and considerate. But to some and one person especially, my husband, this code of conduct is not important. I am annoyed when this view is not respected nor acknowledged.

I think it is being selfish to not do one's best. I think it is wrong to not try hard. I think it is wrong and selfish to not be part of the community. I think that core differences in values become apparent when raising children. I think some people just live in their own bubble and stay detached- they also spend a lot of time alone.

I am tired of arguing.

Fall & Stuff

Kids are back in school. We had a great summer.

Issues: $$; Work and Family.

There isn't enough time lately to do it all well. Interesting.

Thank goodness I am not doing it alone.

Elections: I am supporting Mike McGinn for Seattle mayor. I hope you will also.

Summer & Work

Whew! What a week! I have worked hard and I am tired. The weather is wonderful. I am excited to get home, eat a steak and relax.

Mommy Wars

Seattle can be an intense place to have children. We are all very well educated and very well intentioned- we expect our children to be loving, caring, active, smart, intense (liberal) individuals when they grow up. We believe that we can give our kids what we didn't have- whatever that may be. For me, I want my kids to be more self confident- I think Rick would say something like being happy. What is happiness? My definition is #1- don't do anything that you will really regret- like getting pregnant or going to jail. #2- having good friends. Knowing how to cultivate and maintain friendships. #3. How to feel empathy for others, know how to think of others. #4. Know how to listen and try to learn from others- there is no reason that a kid needs to learn by "doing". Enough of that- we "humans" have been around a long enough time to pass down some good logic. We teach our kids to not put their hands in the fire- I think we now must step up the game to teach social and emotional intelligence.

Stay at Home Mom's vs Working Full Time Moms
I wish that I could be a stay at home mom, but not possible. I know that my working will help create a better financial future for my family. Yes, I have a nanny. By not taking time off- by pretty much working the whole time since I was first pregnant- over 8 years ago, I was able to raise my income by over $20K in that time frame. Even though it doesn't look that good right now, I do have a 401k retirement account. Our house has actually, barely, maintained its value, so someday I do expect that investment to pay off.

Are there people who are better off than me? Yes. Do I envy mothers that have more time for their families? Yes.

Something that I just realized recently is that working moms have a very limited amount of time to be social and/or to meet for play dates. My impression is that a stay at home mom can have "social" time during the day while their working counterparts do not have that luxury. A working mother's time for "social" is often weekends. Many times this interrupts a stay at home mom's time with her husband and extended family. So there is a direct conflict- even for the best of intentioned.

Sometimes it is very hard to create the connections that you want to make to insure your child's social and emotional success. (The truth is that your college friends will probably take a different path than you, so those relationships change once children arrive- one has to forge anew) There is pressure to create a new network of friends who have kids your kids age. I have found this to be harder than I expected. I think I may need to read the book "How to win friends and influence people" by Dale Carnegie. Do you think he has a "mommy" section?

Stay at Home Mothers are way too defensive. If I make a comment like"...I don't think I could stay home 100%, but it would sure be great to only work 30 hours a week." I am not comparing myself to you- I am voicing a fact. It is wrong in this society that I cannot get paid well unless I work over 40 hours a week.

Grandmothers
I have friends who have wonderful- active- grandmothers. I do not. I hate the fact when someone complains about their mother. I am envious of friends who have grandparents that play a very active role with the family. To be more specific- they babysit, pick the kids up from school if need be, and provide emotional and financial support.

Food Diary Update

#1. I have kept to the diet, except at a baseball game and that was due to very poor service at the restaurant.
#2. I had the worse lunch today- yuck! Brown rice with Tofu. I tried to find some flavor to add from the work fridge- re: lemon or vinegar or something!!, but no. Just plain brown rice with tofu.
#3. I have tried this for almost three weeks, still drinking alcohol. Not going to work. Starting Tuesday, the alcohol goes.

Food Diary

On Saturday, May 1, I started an elimination diet. Elimination diet is where, due to allergies, one does not eat wheat, corn, nuts, sugar, coffee, tea, citrus or dairy. So I cut out the wheat, corn, nuts, dairy, but there is some of the rest in my diet. I thought the last time that I did this (many years ago) that I was allowed other grains besides wheat, but today I read a new article that suggests that all grains and all legumes should be eliminated also. Humm what to do.

My diet has been sort- of the following
Morning = Organic Steel Cut Oatmeal
Lunch = Chicken breast or egg with rice, vegi snack; or black bean soup
Dinner = Green beans (or something close) and either chicken or fish

Should I stick to my oatmeal, or go for sliced yams in the morning?

I think I might start posting what I eat everyday. Might be a fun exercise.

Today: 5/06/09
Coffee, black
Carrot
1/4 apple
Spring role (Shrimp, lettuce, rice noodles wrapped in rice paper)
Deep fried tofu
Halibut
Cabbage
Vodka martini (I'll try to keep it under 2)

So the above is really a vent, I don't feel good. I felt really good yesterday and now I feel terrible. I hope tomorrow is better.

Plastic Blowing in the Wind

I am working from home today. Have the sniffles and sneezes. The video doesn't have sound, but when I relearn how to do that I will update again.

I have often thought of asking my husband to remove the plastic, but I keep forgetting. Now that I have made this post, maybe I'll remember.

And below is where I would like to be sitting, in the garden- wondering how soon we'll start planting. Looks a bit rustic, but I am sure the yard will shape up soon.














TGIF

Troops greet Obama

Troops in Iraq greet President Obama.

It makes me feel good that the army seems to be in support of President Obama. I am sure a lot of my relatives that are in the Armed services did not vote for him. I do hope in time they will appreciate his leadership.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/7988408.stm

Maybe it is the Sunshine

So maybe it is the sunshine...I feel a shift. I think we (American's) are "over it" with the economy and all the talk about "Great Depression in the 21st Century".

Yes- everyone has tightened their belts- but it feels like instead of going for that extra notch - that extra 1/2 inch. We, the country, said - ENOUGH - I am wealthy and I am not going to take it anymore!

Anyway- that is what I felt and told my husband last night. He isn't sure-but lets see if my gut is correct...??

How will this effect the people who do have it hard- I don't know.

Buddist Thought of the Day
In this world the wise one holds onto confidence and wisdom. Those are the greatest treasures; all other riches are pushed aside. - Buddha...

Hydrogen Engine

My son is interested in saving the planet and he is currently working on a design for hydrogen engine. A car that would run off of steam- from water.

As we were talking, I realized that he would be very interested in the Book "Cradle to Cradle". He doesn't read real fast, so I have started reading him the book. I don't know why- but I think he is getting the concept.

Mad at Dad

Most read article on Parenting.com is Mad at Dad.

"We love our husbands- so why are we so angry at them, so often?"

I am usually very angry with my husband at least 2-3 times a month where I try to imagine an escape plan. How do I get out of this marriage? I have never come up with a plan that I am comfortable with. We are stuck with each other. Kind of like being in prison- I heard that on a mom blog. We have these two beautiful kids and I just vowed that I would never do it alone, if I didn't have to. Being the child of divorce- in the 1970's- make an impression.

Now my husband is one of the "good ones". He is fairly attentive and I trust him...but- he is has no ability to be pro-active. Food is important to him, so the kids will never stave. Clean socks and underwear are important- so the kids will stay decently clothed. He has taken the kids to the Dr.- when I cannot. He has attended one parent teacher conference- when I could not make it. He has no ability to cultivate new relationships. He often says "No". He will not take the kids places all on his own. He puts his friends before me- maybe not before the kids- but before me.

He treats me like I am his mom.

The other day he told me that he "is the fix it- guy" and since I cannot "fix" things, I must do more of the daily chores and overall cleaning of the house. This is also a guy who told me that he didn't have clean socks and I responded, yes he did, I checked his drawer. He responded that they were not the "right" ones that he wanted to wear. Kind of sounds like a toddler.

I work full-time, I volunteer in my son's classroom- weekly. I coordinate the nanny schedule. I procure items for the preschool auction. I am tired and a drive a car that I don't particularly like because it is better for us to leave my car for the nanny. I do 98% of the shopping. I pay all the bills. I do the laundry- this one is my fault- he won't do laundry in a manner that I find acceptable- I have asked him to follow my guidelines and he refuses.

Like in the article- I do want to say that I do love my husband very much. We have been married a very long time and we are good friends. He has a more flexible work schedule than I do- so he is often home working on the house- doing projects- but not looking to see what could be picked-up or cleaned. I would like for him to walk around the house- look to see what could be done before starting a project. Men are kind-of like bears they like to be in their cave (shop, garage, office).

I am looking to get a dog.

New Years Resolutions 2009

Happy New Year.
I reviewed the resolutions that I posted for 2008 here. Not exactly what I remembered. I thought I had added learning to knit. Humm.

Resolutions this year are:
Career advancement: I mean to work very hard so that in 2010 I will be promoted.
Fitness: Increase personal fitness.
Stress reduction: Take time for myself, take time to react, think first. Be more patient.
Be mindful: Stay present and in the moment.
Kinder: Try to not be so harsh on oneself or on others close to you.